Hallelujah
by Clayin
Summary: Remus's POV. Set right after Voldemort's downfall and Wormtail's supposed death. Song Fic with Angst Angst Angst! also, the disclaimer has been corrected


Disclaimers: I don't own the Harry Potter characters! I also don't own the song "Hallelujah" - it's by Leonard Cohen - thankies to all the people who have corrected my mistake.  
  
Hallelujah  
  
I've heard there was  
  
A secret chord  
  
That David played, and  
  
It pleased the Lord  
  
But you don't really care  
  
For music, do you?  
  
Remus stared disbelieving at the scene before him.Sirius stood in the middle of the ravaged street, laughing at the pile of bloody robes that had, moments before, been a person - a friend! Sirius had his head thrown back and simply stood there, shoulders shaking with the mirth that only he saw as funny. Around Remus, with a quick succession of faint 'pops', Ministry Officials appeared. Sirius didn't do anything, just went along quietly, laughing with tears rolling down his cheeks.  
  
It goes like this:  
  
The fourth, the fifth  
  
The minor fall, the major lift  
  
The baffled king  
  
Composing Hallelujah  
  
Remus felt crazy laughter bubbling up inside of him as well. Of course this would happen to him.he was bad luck - weren't werewolves' always bad luck? Voldemort was gone, that's all that really matters - who cares if all of one wolf-man's friends are the casualties? To the rest of the wizard world, it was only three people.they had been saved by Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived!  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
"Ding-Dong, the Dark Lord is dead." Remus sang drunkenly to himself as he nursed some alcoholic beverage at the Leaky Cauldron. He was far drunker than any of the Marauders had ever been before - including James on his stag night when Sirius had convinced him that runny across the road stark naked was a good idea.NO! Don't think about the Marauders, the Marauders are dead - or worse. Dead or worse.dead or worse.huh, that made a good song.  
  
Your faith was strong  
  
But you needed proof  
  
You saw her bathing  
  
On the roof  
  
Her beauty and the  
  
Moonlight overthrew you  
  
Some woman had joined Remus at his table. Remus had no idea who she was, but she was letting him babble at her all sorts of disconnected woes.just not his werewolf one or the Animagi one. The moon was waxing, he could feel the subtle hormone changes. You begin to notice these things when you've been a werewolf for.damn, how long HAD he been a werewolf? Ooh, boy was he drunk.okay, important things.Remus Lupin, waxing moon, full moon in a week and a half, closest friends Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail.damn.  
  
She tied you to a kitchen chair  
  
She broke your throne  
  
And she cut your hair  
  
And from your lips  
  
She drew the Hallelujah  
  
The nice lady had taken him home with her.Remus couldn't think straight. She smelled kinda like one of Remus's old girlfriends.Arabella Miller, now Arabella Figg.she and her husband had gone into hiding practically the night they were married. She smelled nice. After the nice lady had settled him in the guestroom, she left Remus. Alone. All alone.no one there.no one at all.but the voices in his head.  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Remus woke up the next morning with the worst hangover he'd ever had in his life. He stumbled into the bathroom to pay homage to the Oh god of hangovers (1). After he finished vomiting up whatever it was that he had drunk last night, he took a look in the mirror. He looked like hell warmed over.twice. The nice lady appeared, holding a towel. Whaddya know; it was Arabella that brought him home. She gave him an understanding look and Remus forced a small smile for her benefit.  
  
"Thanks." He said in a low, gravely sounding voice.  
  
Maybe I've been here before  
  
I know this room  
  
I've walked this floor  
  
I used to live alone  
  
Before I knew you  
  
Remus sat down hard on the ground. Arabella had warned him against coming to the site of the Potter's old home, but he had anyway. What remained of the house was.almost nothing. He had Apparated to where the sitting room had been. He'd landed on a beam. He gingerly picked his was across the room, where he had played with the Marauders and the first member of the second generation of Mischief-Makers. His knees shook and he sank down against something that must have been a couch. The others had meant so much to him! He'd had no friends until them, none! He had to be careful.he had been careful.too careful.and James and Lily and Peter were dead because he wouldn't have been able to trust himself with the Secret Keeping duties. Was this worth it?  
  
I've seen your flag  
  
On the marble arch  
  
Love is not a victory march  
  
It's a cold and  
  
It's a broken Hallelujah  
  
Remus stared blankly as the coffins that held two of the world's most precious people were lowered into the ground. Was Voldemort's death or current weakness worth the loss of Lily and James? He took out his wand and joined the people who would shoot loud bangs into the air.an old tradition, once observed purely to keep the devil away from the bodies.not that the devil could touch Lily and James.  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Many people who didn't even know the Potters had come to their funeral.Voldemort's last victims and all. What about Peter? Wasn't he Voldemort's victim? Or is a killing by Sirius Black a whole different thing all together. Remus's hands shook and his fingernails - sharp now - cut tiny crescent moons into his palms.  
  
There was a time  
  
You let me know  
  
What's really going on below  
  
But now you never show  
  
It to me, do you?  
  
Remus remembered his second year Christmas, when the others had confronted him with their suspicions of his being a werewolf. Remus had been terrified that they'd pull away - but then James had started yipping and howling, like something you hear from cheesy Muggle movies. Sirius had started punching him and yelling at him not to be such an "insensitive git" while James yelled back that he thought the howls were funny. After yanking the best friends apart, the other three had explained their idea of becoming Animagi. They'd always told him everything.  
  
I remember when  
  
I moved in, you  
  
Your holy dark  
  
Was moving too  
  
And every breath we drew  
  
Was Hallelujah  
  
After Remus admitted his lycanthropy, everything had been absolutely perfect. They agreed that there would be no more secrets between them. With no lying needed, Remus had felt much better. After fifth year, everything was cloud nine. Even the transformations were easier on him.with three friends by his side, what wouldn't be?  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
And what about their promise? That one they'd made at the end of their First Detention, the one where they swore to be friends forever? What made Sirius break that oath, the one he himself had insisted on? It didn't make any sense.Padfoot. Padfoot would never do something like that. A picture of a laughing, dark-haired duo appeared on the back of Remus's eyelids. James and Sirius. Prongs and Padfoot. The two had been inseparable since they met on Platform 9 ¾. Remus still didn't know what had happened when the two met to make them so brotherly. Prongs and Padfoot. James and Sirius. JamesandSirius like one person.  
  
Maybe there's a God above  
  
And all I ever  
  
Learned from love  
  
Was how to shoot  
  
At someone  
  
Who outdrew you  
  
Padfoot would never betray any of them. He'd sworn on his soul in that promise. Remus clutched a scrap of parchment in his hands, tearing it. The Marauders were dead now, weren't they? What did they need the old Marauder Oath of Mischief and Mayhem for any more? He stared unhappily at the four flaky brown signatures at the bottom. It had been James's idea to sign it in blood. Remus slid to the floor and wept as the moonlight from the full moon poured through his barred window. His first transformation alone since Fifth Year.  
  
It's not a cry  
  
You can hear at night  
  
It's not somebody  
  
Who's seen the light  
  
It's a cold and  
  
It's a broken Hallelujah  
  
So, the werewolf could cry. The wolf pacing the barren basement room had tears mucking the fir down his muzzle. It wouldn't stop whining, pacing. For once, the whining wasn't of the desire to escape, but of genuine sorrow. He flung back his head and howled, bitterly hoping that Black - not Sirius, not Padfoot - could hear the mournful cries of the full moon. Could he even see the moon from his cell? The wolf hoped not. To see the sky, the sun, the moon was too good for such a traitor.  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Remus groggily awoke the next day, grimacing at the scratches and bite marks he'd inflicted on himself. Where were the others? Last time, he'd woken up before the rest of them and managed to get a picture of Padfoot "running" in his sleep. The small grin that had split Remus's face shattered like the fragile bottle of Puella Mutatio Potion (2) James had dropped on Snape's head in year Six. James, Lily and Peter were dead. Never again would there be Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Never again would there be Tiger Lily of the Red, Red Hair.  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Twelve years later, Professor Lupin stared in shock at the Marauder's Map. Harry Potter. Hermione Granger. Ron Weasley. And almost over-lapping the final member, Peter Pettigrew. Wormtail. A man that had been dead for twelve years, last November First. Remus's hands shook as he watched Peter run away, followed by Ron, then Harry and Hermione. The dot labeled Sirius Black bowled over Harry. Remus raced out of his office. Hallelujah indeed.  
  
The End  
  
(1) This is from "The Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett. a MUST read!  
  
(2) Latin for "Girl Transformation" 


End file.
